~Happy Birthday Mom~

Today my mom would have been 54. Yep, would have been. Almost 3 years ago, she passed away from her battle with cancer. Do I miss her? Sometimes it's still unbearable how much I miss mom. Just the other day I had a memory and picked up my phone to call her. Then I felt silly.. it's been almost 3 years without her. Without her laugh, her wittiness, her wisdom, her selflessness..

Most of my best memories of mom include humor. The woman was completely random at times, can put my ditzy stories to shame and was down right hilarious! Just like yesterday, I can imagine her at the kitchen table during prayer laughing so hard her belly bounced. She was queen of laughing during prayer. I can still see her in a dressing room while we were trying on new jeans loudly asking if they "fit alright in the crotch?" On vacations in a cramped car she would show us her cheer block routines from high school. I remember her saying, "Darce, cheer block was where it was at. We were cooler than the cheerleaders. When the white gloves came out, you knew we meant business."

These are memories I have of mom pre-cancer. I really think God has a sense of humor because some of her funniest moments were when she had cancer. After she had lost her hair, her favorite hat was covered in clouds. I think she liked it best so she could pull her famous one liner.. "My head's in the clouds!" Mom called dad "The Natzi" when he was protective of her by not letting her go places or making her wear her mask to shield germs. Oh.. morphine made her one goofy lady! A few days before she passed away she woke up after she was sound asleep telling my dad, "Denny! There's a man in the window wearing a tux." Dad looked at the window, saw that there was nothing there and told mom, "There is? That would be hard, we're on the 6th floor." Mom laughed and said, "Well that's his problem, isn't it?" I still to this day think the man in the tux on the 6th floor was an angel.

Even though I only spent 22 years of my life with mom, she was an example of how to conduct yourself in a way that is worthy of Christ. She was the best example that God could have given me! She taught me not to complain in any situation. Even through the immense amount of pain that she endured, I NEVER heard her complain. Nurses would fight over who would get to take care of her during their shift! I learned to smile through the worst of my own pain and suffering. It puts a whole different perspective on things when you smile. A friend wrote a song inspired by my mom and there is a part where she sings, "Do I smile when it's hard to breathe?" When my mom had to wear an oxygen mask and was close to her death, she was smiling. People could see the joy in her life only possible through Jesus Christ. She was different. She was an example of how to put God first, others second and yourself last. She didn't just say it, her actions proved it.

A couple of hours before she died, with myself, my brother, sister and dad present, she prayed. Her oxygen level was so low that she should have been unconscious. The first words that came out of her mouth were, "Dear heavenly father, thank you for this wonderful day." My mom was praising Jesus hours before she met Him! Romans 8:28 tells me, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Mom was called home at the age of 51 even though she had a loving husband and 3 kids who still longed for her to be around. She is experiencing her reward in full from her relationship with Christ and the life that she lived for Him here on earth!

Mom, I can't even imagine what birthday parties are like in heaven.. Happy 54th!