Thursday, February 16, 2006

Youth Minister Substitute

K, so being the sweet wife that I try to be, last night I taught our middle school youth group in sick Darin's absence. This should be simple, right? Play games in the gym for 40 minutes and then teach them a lesson that I heard Darin give Sunday night at our high school youth group. Easy... ya, that's what I thought...

At first we only had 5 kids so they decide that they want to play knock-out before the other {always incredibly late} kids arrive. They know I stink.. I was a gymnast.. I kinda have this graceful, toe-pointing shot going on. So the one kid deliberately puts me in front of him so that he can get me out quickly. The kids' obviously a genius cuz it worked.

Horrible at knock-out - Youth minister substitute STRIKE #1

So then the other 3 kids get there and we decide to play dodgeball. That goes well. They get bored because Darin's not there to literally knock them off their feet with his 80 MPH dodgeball throw.. they seriously like to be obliterated by a dodgeball. So I suggest capture the flag. Yep, they all want to play that because most of them had never played capture the flag. I explain the rules.. I guess I didn't remember all the rules because it took about 2 seconds for my team to win. (I did NOT plan that, contrary to what you may think). I think of more rules so I share with the kids.. more like try to yell over them because they all talk at once. So we play again and again, my team wins after about 5 seconds. Gosh, I'm really a looser of a youth minister fill in. I am THE most forgetful rule rememberer ever. No joke. Sometimes, as you can read, this works to my advantage. =)

Suckey rules rememberer - Youth minister substitute STRIKE #2

Now it's time for the lesson. We're talking about the different ways that God can answer prayers. We play bible war cuz they had never played that either. The game where the leader tells you the bible verse and everyone frantically WITHOUT RIPPING PAGES {of course I had to remind them of that) finds the verse and stands up. So the one kid, bless his heart, is the kid that everyone picks on. Sometimes, the boy deserves to be picked on... he makes himself a target often. Is a minister's wife allowed to say that? I just did.. but keep reading so you can relate. We'll call him "Jack" for identity purposes. Little Jack asks me why Lord is capitalized in the Old testament but is not in the New testament. I tell him that in the new testament every time God, Jesus, Lord, He or Him is capitalized, that means that they are talking about our God.. Christ. So the next time a kid is reading a verse, Jack interrupts LOUDLY. He and I's conversation goes like this:

Jack: "I found a god in the new testament that isn't capitalized!"

Calm me: "It must be a different god they are talking about other than our God. Jack, you need to listen while someone is reading scripture."

Jack: "I don't want to listen to the bible right now.. I'm trying to prove you WRONG!"

Less calm me: "First of all, you are being very disrespectful to me and most importantly you are being even more disrespectful to God by saying that."

Jack: "You are so mean! I want Darin back!"

I agree. I want Darin back too. I've failed. Guess I'm not made for substitute youth-ministering.

I'm MEAN - Youth minister substitute STRIKE OUT!

19 comments:

Wendy said...

Don't feel bad-middle schoolers are one of the hardest ages to work with. Sounds like you did a pretty good job overall!

{ brooke } said...

omg. darcy!
you crack me up!
this is too funny.
i heart reading darcy's blog
because i laugh so hard people look at me.

yes!
i did go to purdue.
'04 grad in la...
english lit and women's studies
and now i'm an office bitch.
go figure!

xo!

jes said...

Darcy, that is not an accurate guage at all! you do great with those kids and I know "Jimmy" and he deserved it. Bet you wish you had a dodgeball right then.
Seriously dont let one evening frustrate you...just learn to ignore that one voice. you still rock

Mara said...

hahha.
sorry you "stuck out"
i'm sure it wasn't nearly as bad as you think...
afterall, you won capture that flag more than once!

Mara said...

oops, i meant struck :)

Hailey said...

gosh Darcy why do you have to be so mean!?!
hehehe just kidding!
sounds like an entertaining night to say the least! Those kids should be greatful you stepped up and substituted at ALL!
hope Darin makes it next week!

Alexandra Wieckowski said...

Awwww :( I used to assist with Youth Group back in Higschool. Next time will be better I'm sure. (If there's a next time .. right?)

Elizabeth said...

I am so with you on the whole dodgeball thing. we help with the Jr. high and those boys and menboys get viscious!! us calm beauty creatures just stand around and chat!
i also sympathize with you on trying to teach a lesson..
their raging hormones and ruthless, opinionated,nature can get a little much!!
at thirteen, they know ALL.
just learn to except it.
they will find out otherwise soon enough!!

monica said...

AWWWW, "I want Darin back" that was too sad, were you upset? Your blog makes me giggle. =)

RACHEL =) said...

AH, DARCY... YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH... AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU!!! WE HAVE TO MEET... SOON... AND LAUGH ALLLLLLLL DAY LONG!!!!! =)

AND HEY, AT LEAST YOU FILLED IN INSTEAD OF LEAVING THEM HANGING, WHICH SHOWS YOU ARE AN *AWESOME* YOUTH MINISTER'S WIFE!!! REGARDLESS OF YOUR STRIKE COUNT!

Nichole said...

Hey Darce!! If "Jack" wanted to prove you wrong, than you got him to dig into his bible. Awesome Job!! All middle schoolers, have this sixth sense that allows them to know just the buttons to push to either make you feel horrible or set you over the top. I get to love on them everyday. Lucky me, right? I KNOW YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB, you're just to hard on yourself.

Lisa Dickinson said...

Well with that many strikes against you, why would we evah wanna be your friends?!? :P Sounds like you did a great job and your patience is WAY longer than mine. The important thing is you got them talking and exploring (even if your little pal J was looking for trouble....) so GOOD WORK GIRLY!

Have a good weekend and hope that sweet hubby of yours is feeling better!

L

kaylaaimee said...

Is a youth minister substitute allowed to pimp slap kids? bwahahaha :)

My kids would routinely answer their cell phones. In the middle of my lesson. Until I started answering it for them ;)

Felicia said...

Ahh, Why do kids have to be so mean?!
It sounds like you did a great job of keeping calm.
I'm with the last persons comment. I would have wanted to pimp slap someone for sure.
he he he

I love reading your blog....you crack me up.

Jill said...

oh Darcy, you make me laugh :)
what a hard age of kids to work with. at least you filled in and were there for them.

I hope Darin is feeling better by now :) have a great weekend.

Valerie said...

I'm sorry it went so bad!! But you do know they're middle schoolers too, a very difficult age!! Brave of you for trying!! I bet Darin is proud of you!! Hopefully he's feeling better soon!!

Angel With an Attitude said...

ha...kids can be so mean...

island girl said...

ok...i am so laughing on the inside right now!! you so brought me back to the days of private school! lol!!

and i so didn't know you were a ministers wife!!

amazing grace said...

that's hilarious.....my husband is also a youth minister.....but, i have not been quite as brave as you.....:)