10 years

10 years ago today on 03-04-03 my mama left this world and became a resident of heaven. 

There is so much of that day that I remember.. so much that I want to forget... like watching her pass.  We were all by her side.. all of us took turns giving her permission to leave us and meet Jesus.  It was the most heart wrenching thing I hope I ever endure.  She was almost unconscious and in her last words prayed for us... she started with "thank you God for this wonderful day." She was praising Jesus just minutes before she met Him.  I will always remember minutes after she passed and we all sat by her bed in a silent, uncontrollable sob.. a lullaby played in the intercom. (the hospital played a lullaby when a baby was born). It was so fitting to hear a sweet lulluby of a baby being born into this world as my mom was being born into heaven. 

There's SOOOO much she's missed in the 10 years she's been gone. 

*My oldest sister, Denise and I both got married. She wasn't there to put our veils over our heads.. to zip up our dresses. To sit at the front row of the church beaming from ear to ear that we'd met "the one". 

*She hasn't met the 9 grand-babies that her 3 children have born. She missed waiting at the hospital to meet each and every one.. and I know she'd be running into the room as soon as she could to meet her new loves. Every hospital deliver I've had I mourned watching her rush in and fall love with my daughter's. Seriously.. I've cried after each baby wondering what it would look like for my mom to hold my girls.  It's a loss I can't even explain to you. 

*she's missed 10 anniversary's with my dad. They hit 31 years the year she died.. now it would be 41 years. I loved seeing them together.. watching them hold hands after so many years... watching my dad cherish her and keep the promise of his marriage vow" in sickness".. they were so perfect for each other.  

10 years have seriously flown by.. I'm now in my early 30's and not early 20's. I'm aging and maturing but if I live til I'm 100 I'll still long for my mom.

Anyone that knew me as a child knows of my bunnies.. this was my first one I received on Christmas.. I think it was pretty early in the morning with how tired my mama looks!

This was a few weeks before she died at my brother's wedding. Doesn't she look stunning?

I am positive that when my mom met Jesus he said "Good job, good and faithful servant. With you I am pleased."  My mom's legacy will never be forgotten . and I promise to my children, to Darin, to everyone that I meet that you will see my mom in me. 

Her ability to talk to strangers and make them feel like a best friend.. 

her ability to make others laugh. I loved her sense of humor. =)

to love my husband with my entire heart.. making each year better than the last. Submitting to him and supporting him through all the ups and downs. Never saying a bad word about him.. loving him to pieces and showing respect under every circumstance... just as she did for my dad. 

to love and nurture and sacrifice my own wants and needs for my children like she did for us.. 

to share Jesus with my mouth and actions just like her life displayed.. 

my mom left a legacy. One that I will never forget and will try my hardest every day to live up to. 

I love ya, mom. Hopefully you get a glimpse from heaven how much you are missed and how much we long for you to be here with us. But I know you are saving a place right next to you in heaven. I can't wait to see you again.