Friday, January 13, 2006

one eventful week

hi. this is bailey the fat cat.

today i am going to tell you a story of a very eventful week. this was the week of may 29-june 6th of last year. my owner, darcy, got married so my other new owner, darin, took her to acapulco. they seemed to have quite a bit of fun but that is not what this story is about. this is about a very eventful week that darcy's roommates put me through while they were "supposedly" babysitting me.

they thought it would be funny to pull a prank on darcy while she was on her honeymoon and somehow i was the victim. i am a long hair kitty. sometimes people think i am a tad overweight. by the end of this story, you can make your own judgments. erin, darcy's old roommate, does human hair. for some reason, she thought that maybe her human cutting shears could cut my beast of a mane. so, she starts hacking away at my hair. i growled, hissed and bit her the entire time. i knew darcy would be mad.


to erin's dismay, her human cutting shears didn't cut my kitty hairs as well as she had hoped. this is dina, another roommate, here. dina tried to hold me down but i growled, hissed and bit her too. you can see my favorite corn puff low-fat treats in that picture. they fed me half a bag of them to try to get me to cooperate. it didn't work but the treats sure were yummy!


they cut quite a bit of my hair, but darcy sure would have been honked if they left my fro in this condition! so they put my hair in a bag thinking that one day maybe darcy would want to scrapbook my first haircut. she still hasn't.. slacker.


i then sat on the bag thinking maybe, just maybe it would somehow magically attach back to my body and make darcy happier.

no such luck.

so, erin makes a phone call to the vet so that they can finish my hair cut. this is me on the ride to the vet.

i was prepared to growl, hiss and bite and the next poor soul that tried to cut my hair. that is, unless they had my favorite corn puff low-fat treats. but they didn't. since erin didn't know my shot history, know how old i was, or if if i was allergic to anesthetics, the vet had to update my shots, and did blood work to put me under anesthetics to finish my hair cut. i guess you can't mussel a cat.

after 5 days of erin trying to cut my hair, hissing, biting, growling, a trip to the vet, my shots updated, and being put under, and $152 that darcy's roommates had to pay for their prank, i was one hot cat.

nope, darcy's roommates did not photoshop my head onto a poodles body.. that is me. a 100% fine feline. sporting my new lion haircut.


okay, so i guess i have a little belly from all those corn puff low-fat treats, but look at my legs! i am hot!


darcy didn't take it so well. she sat on the floor and cried hysterically when she saw me. darin was a good beginner husband. he just hugged her and after about 5 minutes through her hiccuping cry she told darin, "okay, you can laugh now!" and then darin laughed for a good 2 days.

amazingly, darcy is still friends with erin and dina. but the extremely good news is that erin is getting married in april and dina is still single. they better watch out!

17 comments:

jes said...

That is one of my favority stories. I love the pictures with his head floating over the scrawny body. I have a friend who did the same thing to her cat...but left him boots. I will find the picture and send it to you...HILARIOUS. I am glad that your cat is ok.
by the way I shaved Kahlua once b/c I thought she was hot...it was ugly. No pictures to show, but my sides ache a little from laughing AT her.

Elizabeth said...

okay, one I am laughing hysterically out loud. and a little bit extrememly angry, that some one would do that.. and a little mad for you that your friends would do this, and a little glad that they had to pay $152 vet bill, and sooooo amazed that you are still friends with them!!! and am soooo glad that Baily is once again covered with hair!! It is much more becoming!
...and a little creeped out by that last photo!
(can't believe your friends documented the whole thing!!), but it certainly adds to the story!!

Niki L said...

I used to shave my first cat consistently b/c she had this gross hair that would never stop growing and it would lay in patches all over the house. I can tell you though, when it started to grow out and she at least looked like a short haired cat, it always reminded me of when she was a kitten so it made me happy!

Here's a side note the vet used to tell me though...cats know when something HUGE has happened to them (like getting a hair cut) and if people laugh at them they are more likely to hide and be ashamed so you have to make sure you tell them how pretty they look!!:) That was a cute story Darce!!!

Hailey said...

Oh my gosh, your poor cat! those pictures are hilarious! and Bailey, you do not seem THAT fat
;-)

kaylaaimee said...

bwahaha! My cat Paisley is FAT too, like 18lbs and she lays on her back like that!! I've never seen another cat do that. this is totally the funniest thing EVA!!

Erin said...

omg...
i don't know whether to laugh or cry!
oh man, i can only imagine your reaction!

Mara said...

oh my, that is hilarious!!
bailey is one funny blogger!! :)

Angel With an Attitude said...

OMG!! that's the funniest think i've ever seen!!!

My New Blog!

erika said...

I AM LAUGHING OUTLOUD....kid you not. The photos at the end did me in.....pooooor Bailey.
xe

gabbyfek said...

oh, now, see, i'm laughing so hard i'm almost crying over here...
our neighbors do that to their cat, lucy...
and i swear lucy wants to eat them...
or get run over by a car...
when it happens.
even max looks at her funny....
oooh.
poor bailey.
xox,
g

Erin said...

Oh my gosh Darcy! That is too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

monica said...

LOL, this is too funny. That cat is HUGE! Hey, you got tagged so check it out!

Kat said...

ok, that is seriously not photoshoped? toooooo freakin funny! poor bailey!!! fun blog!!! ; )

RACHEL =) said...

ROFL.... AND CRYING TOO!!! I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW I WOULD REACT COMING HOME TO THAT... YOUR POOOOOR BABY!!!! AND YOU!!

Jill said...

such a funny story and great pics too! LOL!
poor kitty.
interesting blog & cool scrappin on 2 peas.

island girl said...

LMAO!! That has got to be the funniest story ever!! I was seriously in tears!!! Your poor cat!!

Jess said...

Too funny! We have a Bailey who is also a fat cat - I'm sure they'd get along well!