hi. this is bailey the fat cat.
today i am going to tell you a story of a very eventful week. this was the week of may 29-june 6th of last year. my owner, darcy, got married so my other new owner, darin, took her to acapulco. they seemed to have quite a bit of fun but that is not what this story is about. this is about a very eventful week that darcy's roommates put me through while they were "supposedly" babysitting me.
they thought it would be funny to pull a prank on darcy while she was on her honeymoon and somehow i was the victim. i am a long hair kitty. sometimes people think i am a tad overweight. by the end of this story, you can make your own judgments. erin, darcy's old roommate, does human hair. for some reason, she thought that maybe her human cutting shears could cut my beast of a mane. so, she starts hacking away at my hair. i growled, hissed and bit her the entire time. i knew darcy would be mad.
to erin's dismay, her human cutting shears didn't cut my kitty hairs as well as she had hoped. this is dina, another roommate, here. dina tried to hold me down but i growled, hissed and bit her too. you can see my favorite corn puff low-fat treats in that picture. they fed me half a bag of them to try to get me to cooperate. it didn't work but the treats sure were yummy!
they cut quite a bit of my hair, but darcy sure would have been honked if they left my fro in this condition! so they put my hair in a bag thinking that one day maybe darcy would want to scrapbook my first haircut. she still hasn't.. slacker.
i then sat on the bag thinking maybe, just maybe it would somehow magically attach back to my body and make darcy happier.
no such luck.
so, erin makes a phone call to the vet so that they can finish my hair cut. this is me on the ride to the vet.
i was prepared to growl, hiss and bite and the next poor soul that tried to cut my hair. that is, unless they had my favorite corn puff low-fat treats. but they didn't. since erin didn't know my shot history, know how old i was, or if if i was allergic to anesthetics, the vet had to update my shots, and did blood work to put me under anesthetics to finish my hair cut. i guess you can't mussel a cat.
after 5 days of erin trying to cut my hair, hissing, biting, growling, a trip to the vet, my shots updated, and being put under, and $152 that darcy's roommates had to pay for their prank, i was one hot cat.
nope, darcy's roommates did not photoshop my head onto a poodles body.. that is me. a 100% fine feline. sporting my new lion haircut.
okay, so i guess i have a little belly from all those corn puff low-fat treats, but look at my legs! i am hot!
darcy didn't take it so well. she sat on the floor and cried hysterically when she saw me. darin was a good beginner husband. he just hugged her and after about 5 minutes through her hiccuping cry she told darin, "okay, you can laugh now!" and then darin laughed for a good 2 days.
amazingly, darcy is still friends with erin and dina. but the extremely good news is that erin is getting married in april and dina is still single. they better watch out!