Thursday, October 30, 2008

Let's take a vote...

I realize we are only 12 weeks along, but 20 weeks will be here before we know it! And you know what 20 weeks is for a pregnant family? The chance to find out what the sex of your baby is. Darin and I were all gung-ho on finding out what this little is and now we are having second thoughts. =/ For those of you that didn't follow the blog when I was preggers with Adelyn Grace, we didn't find out if she was a girly or a boyly. It was SO FUN. Calling people after she was born to introduce them to their granddaughter/niece, etc... not many people wait and it was so, so fun!!!

Darin and I thought we might want to try out the knowing-what-sex-your-kid-is until we talked about it yesterday... we're both not sure if we want to know now. Sooooo... I thought I'd ask my bloggers! You know I value your opinion and we'll probably do what we feel led to do.. but I love hearing what you guys have to think! Here are the three different options:

1. Find out what the little is. Pay the $200-250 for the ultrasound that insurance won't cover (stink bomb) Yes, money is an issue for us. Um, I stay home and my Darin is a teacher, remember? Nuff said.

2. Get the ultrasound and have the technician not show us the privates. Look at his/her pretty face and make sure he/she has a heart and legs and all that. =) Have the technician write down the baby's sex and put it in an envelope. We would then open the envelope on Christmas Day so we could still have a fun surprise on a special day. And as I said in option #1, money is an issue for us so we won't be getting many gifts for Christmas.. knowing what the little peanut is inside me would be quite the gift!

3. Wait until birth to have the midwife say, "It's a ____!!!" That was seriously fun.

Okay, let me know what you think! We are seriousy torn!

34 comments:

Life At Camellia Cottage said...

Darcy, WAIT! There are too few good surprises in the world today, and hearing those words as the baby pops out make the wait worth it. Save the ultrasound money (unless it's medically necessary) and do something else with it!

My take, love your blog! Becky G.

jackie said...

I am a surprisaholic! I love surprises. I am a big believer in waiting until the little peanut arrives. It is so much fun anticipating the baby!

It's been a surprise everytime in this house. Although, Josh insists that we need to find out for #4 because he says that he can't have a 4th girl without being mentally prepared for it :) We'll see.

Anyway, there are few great surprises left in this world, so I say #3! Save your $$, love the surprise. :)

Holly Terra said...

#2. What a fabulous Christmas gift you can give each other- plus, then you can PLAN and get all the things you need in advance (sale baby clothes, clothes from friends, etc.). I bet if you shop early enough the ultrsound will pay for itself. Can you tell I like knowing? :) Either way, CONGRATS!!!!!

The Haughs said...

Okay, I'm going to go against what is now the consensus. . . I would totally do #2! That sounds like so much fun! I found out with my kiddos. . . I'm too much of a planner not to know. And I will say, it is STILL an awesome moment, STILL a surprise. . . just 20 weeks (or so earlier). Another reason I'm all for finding out is that if you have a name picked out, you can start talking about it with the big sister to be. . . I know money is tough (hey - grew up with 2 teacher parents - I KNOW), and I would still think it would be wonderful to wait if that is what you choose to do. :)

Katy

The Elliott's Happenings said...

Ok...I thought I would be all for waiting to find out what we were having till we were actually pregnant. I will be very passionate about this issue for you on the "find out" side. 1st, you need the ultrasound for health reasons; there are lots of disorders that can be treated in-utero, so it's just not worth saving the $$ for. 2nd, to do ANY planning, you need to know! It was priceless for me & my fam to start calling my 1st by name while she was still in my womb; such a special connection was made by calling her by name as soon as we picked the name. And talk about saving money, you can shop the consignments & whatever ahead vs. blah neutral clothes which is a fabulous dollar-saver! Sooo, my vote is find out! Saving for Christmas sounds like fun...but I cried when I saw our boy's parts during the ultrasound; I wouldn't trade that moment for anything. Lots of reasons for overwhelming happiness; refer to my blog for the whole story :)

Megan said...

I'm a finder outer. I found out with all 3 of ours. I figure it's a surprise at 20 weeks or a surprise at 40. The third time, I did think about waiting. But, with 2 boys, I was really anxious to know if it was a girl so I could get started on the all-out girl nursery. It was really nice being prepared, plus it helped the boys bond knowing it was their sister. They were SO excited about having a sister.

But $200 is a lot of money..I have SO been there with the money thing. If you have to pay anyway, what about going to one of those cool 3D places when you get further along? Then you could find out (or not), but at the very least have one of those cool ultrasounds.

The "It's a _____" moment would be so fun. But from someone who has always found out, the birth moment is still so amazing, even though I always knew boy or girl.

Okay, I am officially NO help!

(and I think this is the first comment I've ever left on your blog, but I've been reading it forever. Hi, I'm Megan, coming out of blog lurkdom for this. :)

Kathryn said...

Well, since you have to pay out of pocket for the ultrasound... save the $$ and wait for the delivery! (BTW, it's easy for me to say that since I found out both times!)

The Lantz Clan said...

i am all about the relief in knowing the baby is healthy and the gender is a surprise at anytime! Whether it is when the baby pops out or when you see the sweet baby on the screen.

Katie said...

I think you should wait!! We have three kids and we didn't find out with our first two....sooo fun! They were both boys. We did find out the third time around because I didn't want any part of me to be disappointed if we were to have a third boy. (That would've never happened, because as soon as I heard that first little heartbeat, I was in love) :) However, we did still find out and were thrilled to hear that we were having a girl!

Have fun deciding!
Katie

stephanie said...

I'm a planner. I couldn't wait. I agree that it would be fun to wait til you hear "Its a____", but I needed to plan. I'm due in Feb so I can only imagine that its still a special moment when you hear that phrase.

I say go with #2. I understand the $ thing. My husband and I are doing a small Christmas so we can concentrate on our little girls arrival. It will be such a wonderful Christmas gift and your little one can bond with the new baby before.

Kat said...

well you know me, i love surprises, especially with baby! and if money is an issue, which sucks that your insurance doesn't cover the ultrasound, i'd say wait. but i also think #2 is a really cute idea. and one girl had a good point that ultrasound does pick up on a lot of health issues (even if you don't find out the sex).
guess i'm not much!!!!
but we're not finding out with this baby- and its already driving everyone else nuts!

Anonymous said...

Well, I didn't find out with either of my babies. I loved the surprise and that moment at birth when you finally find out is just the best. I would definitely wait!!

Either way, it's exciting! Adie will make the cutest big sister!

~Stacy P.

Rebekah said...

gosh, how exciting, darcy! :) i'd say wait...the surprise is always amazing!!! but i like your #2 option, too...what a cool christmas gift!! can't wait to hear what you & darin decide. :)

Dina said...

I vote to wait until Baby H #2 is born. You know how I feel about finding out before. And, if you are doubting, why not just wait. that is my vote and i will stop rambling now. smooches!

Jewel said...

I say wait! We didn't find out with Braylon. Whenever we have baby #2, I think we'll wait to find out also...of course, I am not in the situation, so who knows, when I am in your position what I'll end up doing. But as of right now, I would say wait!

Shelly said...

ok, Darcy...this is what I think...you should have an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok. Then, I say have the doc put it in an envelope just like you thought about and make it an "ordeal" when you decide to look at it. That'd be fun. You could make a night of it. We knew with both kids much because I'm a planner but the actual birth was so miraculous that knowing the sex before hand didn't take away from the surprise!!! We would like #3 to be a surprise though now that we have one of each...either way...you will be surprised on the day of the delivery... i don't think this is going to help you...it's pretty split! :)

amber said...

I'm loving option number 2. What a fabulous Christmas surprise!!!!

Ellemieke said...

Tough one, Darcy!
I'd say go for option #2. You should have the ultrasound, just to make sure everything is OK healthwise. And then you can always decide not to open the envelope on Christmas day, but just wait until the midwife says: It's a .......
Good luck on your decision!

erika said...

We only found out w/ Colten...but it really wasn't by choice, the other two boys were being shy ;)
both ways are cool...not knowing and waiting for that big announcement...LOVED it. but knowing and getting to buy and plan, also has it's perks. (I'm really helping, eh?)
I say go w/ your heart. and if you do find out, there is no reason you and Darin can't keep it a secret from everyone else until baby's bday. xxe

Amy A said...

I LOVE #2!!!! Such a cute idea! And, what better Christmas gift could you give each other?? I think the ultrasound is important for health reasons, but you should ultimately decide whether you want to know the sex or not. My one grandma had 10 kids and the other had 11. Neither of them ever had an ultrasound or found out the sex of a child. :)

Good luck!
Amy

Keri said...

We were surprised with our 1st and found out early with the 2nd. Honestly, I enjoyed knowing better than waiting. It's a surprise no matter when you find out!! I do like option #2, that way you get the surprise factor, but you still know enough ahead of time to plan. It may sound weird, but I felt more of a bond with our 2nd boy because I thought of him and dreamed of him, by name. I also found it helpful when it came to getting the 1st one ready for a sibling. I was able to talk about his baby brother named Nathan, etc. It helped our older one (who was 2 when Nathan arrived) adjust to the idea because it was a little less abstract.

Nichole said...

ok...first of all if your having doubts there is a reason. I agree with much of the above...and I have stories of people that found out and it came out different. You are always positive with a boy but a girl can become a boy later in development. So I love the ideas...but if it is money...God will take care of the little one and you should save your money in case you need to buy a bunch of Boy clothes...Like Colts jerseys and sweats and fairfield football t's you know these sports fanatics.
good luck with the decision.

Niki said...

I am the MOST impatient person on God's green Earth so I so FIND OUT YESTERDAY...that way your gifts and whatever you buy in advance at least have a chance to be a better color than green and yellow like a Sprite can ;) However, the Christmas thing is my 2nd choice....make that your Christmas gift to each other so that the money is well spent.

Andrew and Denise said...

I know you are also planning for the nursery so I say find out. I really like the idea of calling the boys by name especially when I prayed for them. I say find out and then with the 3rd decide which way you liked better. God will provide as far as the money goes. It is so neat to see them in the ultrasound. We have a profile of Drew and it is so Drew. I think you will enjoy seeing him or her at that stage of development. LAMY!

Shannon said...

I don't usually comment but I love your blog. Anyway, I have 3 kids. With our first, we did not find out. It was fun to have everyone guess. I was most looking forward to the "It's a ...." part but I honestly don't even remember it. Being on the other side, it drives me crazy not to know but I love the surprise when people don't know.

My 2nd, we knew but didn't tell anyone what we were having. This was fun and I think we only slipped at the very end a couple of times. Of course, we told my OB and all of the nurses at the hospital that our families didn't know. My OB walks in when it was time to push and says, "Are we ready to meet Carson." So it spoiled it for my parents who were in the room. But it was fun to have a secret.

Third one...well, we had 2 boys and we decided to find out. Our 3rd is a girl and while it was fun at the time, when I look back on it, I think it would've been so much more fun to find out in the delivery room. We were able to have a shower and get all kinds of girly things beforehand but I'm sure we still would've gotten plenty after she was born anyway.

So, we've basically done it all. I think you should keep it a surprise! But that's just my opinion.

Haggith said...

I don't know! Here in Holland, it isn't usual to know the gender ahead of time. Although times are a-changin'. I didn't know with the first two. But with the huge age gap between them and the third, we figured we'd like to know. We talked about baby nr. 3 being a boy with the other two kids. But made them promise not to tell anyone else.

so it was loads of fun to know we were having a baby boy, but we didn't want anyone to know. We also told everyone that we didn't know, so that they couldn't try and tickle us into telling.

Anywho...I think, seeing as money is an issue, I'd opt for # 3. And find out at birth.

good luck!

Rhonda Yoder said...

Wow did this generate a lot of commets! Seems like those who waited are happy with that, those who couldn't wait are happy with that. Moral: You'll be happy! :) As much of a planner as I am, this is one thing that I LOVED waiting and anticipating! Whatever you decide, don't second guess--just enjoy!

Shannon said...

Go for number 2!!! I know the whole no money life, so what a FABULOUS Christmas Present :)

Hugs!!

~amy said...

#2, #2, #2! There are enough surprises on the "birth day" as it is. It's so fun to find out and plan for the arrival of your little boy or girl. Just think, you'll save money to make up for the ultrasound by knowing what the sex is because you can find bargains throughout your pregnancy. What a special gift to find out what the sex of your child is on the day we celebrate Jesus' birthday. And what a fun story to be able to tell them as they get older.

Hanni said...

You know, you could always do option #2...and then if you decide you really want to be surprised, shred that envie up. The money wouldn't be wasted. I LOVED having the ultrasound - seeing how God knit together our little one and how developed she was at only 20 weeks. Having those pictures on our fridge helped me get through those last LONG weeks of pregnancy. Either way, it will still be a blessed and wonderful surprise when you finally get to see the face of your precious baby, whether you know the sex or not!!! :)

Angela said...

My vote it WAIT!! You sound like you want to, anyhow, since you commented SEVERAL times on how fun it was! :) We didn't find out with either child, and hearing "it's a _______" at delivery is irreplacable! You have the rest of your life to plan. :) ~angela :)

rev said...

ok, you should do whatever you feel is best, but i say WAIT GIRL. i was surprised this week by a girl mentioning the sexe & name and everything already. i was like HUH?? DUDE come on?!! in the Netherlands you don't say what it is (even if you know it yourself. you just tease family & friends :D),and you certainly never ever say the name. that's the BIG surprise for everybody. and nobody can give you second thoughts about the name LOL. when it's out, it's out.

so. trust the little freaky old dutch here. wait. find out what it is, but wait (when you paint the room, and people KNOW that you KNOW, they are going to puzzle: o, the room is blue, that must be a boy (haha, that was with Sanne). SERIOUSLY EVERBODY thought i was having a boy. it was a girl. my m-i-l even came to the hospital to check. haha. get outta- here.

love ya
rev

Liz Holsopple said...

Don't back out on us now with finding out! Maybe you could just have the ultrasound tech write it down for Eric and I. Then you could still be surprised. :)

laurowens said...

I have no advice. We waiting to find out for our first and only (right now). I loved not knowing. I loved the suprise and getting the "it's a girl!" balloons and gifts. (They just don't mean that much if you already know).
But, I thought I would find out for the second one. I think it would help my daughter bond to her sister/brother more and make it easier for her to understand. Plus if it is a boy, some boy clothes etc. will need to be purchased.
But, I'm not there yet and may change my mind on the second time around.