Thursday, October 01, 2009

The perfect couch

Yesterday I read in my book about submitting to one's hubby. I was reading and felt like yeah, I'm pretty decent at submitting to Darin. I am happily his help-mate and vice president of the Holsopple Household. Okay so let's make that "Executive Vice-President." Sounds better.

Flash forward 6 hours.

The current couches we had were from right after I got out of college and I sewed up some covers myself. And I bought them used. So I was super excited when Darin came up with the idea to use some of my photography money to get a new couch. And we found it... last Saturday we shopped and found the perfect couch for us.


But it wasn't on sale much. So we decided to wait until they had more of a sale.

Yesterday when I had 10 minutes to spare while the girls were snoozing so I lolly-dallied on Craigslist thinking maybe, just maybe I'd find a couch comparable to our perfect couch.

And then I saw it.

Almost the exact same couch for 1/2 of the price. The dude only had it 2 years and didn't smoke, have kids or pets. Called him and he said that he had someone coming to look at it that night. Whoever got there first and showed him the cash got it. It was 3:16pm so I tried to call Darin at school before he went to football practice and he totally didn't answer his phone. So I call the dude back and BOUGHT THE COUCH OVER THE PHONE.

Without seeing it.
Without doing a hiney test.
Without Darin's consent.

Submission was NOT put in order. But when Darin finally called after practice I told him we had a change of plans for the night. To which he replied.. "We are buying a couch, aren't we?"

Whew. Felt a little better about that response! And that he totally knows his wife! HA!

So we pack up the girls, take out the back seats in my van and Darin gets in the truck as we take our livestock and all the vehicles we own to pick up the perfect couch & chair. The one I haven't seen. And bought over the phone. Without telling my husband, remember?

So we drive the 50 minutes and get to the Craigslist dude's house and it's PERFECT.
Perfect, perfect.
Can't even tell you how perfect.
And the chair is a old man-football-watching-chair that really made Darin want to do a cartwheel in the dude's condo. Not the prettiest thing but seriously, I OWE Darin with the whole, "I just bought a couch over the phone without your consent" and am going to let him put that beast in our living room! And watch as much football as his heart desires!

Traveling home I had the chair in my van and I drove behind Darin to make sure that the 2-piece couch sitting on top of one another didn't move. He had it strapped down so we thought we were safe.

As we are driving going about 55 MPH I see our 1/2-the-cost-in-the-store, smoke-free, pet free, kid free, earned with my photography, perfect couch tumble out of the truck bed and smash to the busy highway. I swerve to miss it as did the 3 cars & semi that were behind me. It's now laying in the middle of the highway. Darin keep driving cluelessly down the highway as I stop, sprint out into the middle of the road and call him to tell him that we totally lost the couch. A semi is coming down the road and I think to myself, "I have GOT to stand in the middle of the road and stop this semi to protect my perfect couch!" And then I realized I am a mother and making sure I stay a mother to my two screaming babies in the van is much more important than my perfect couch.

A super cool dude which happened to be a friend of my bro's stopped and helped us get my prized couch back on the truck bed after the semi swerved to miss me and my perfect couch. We then proceeded to drive 30 MPH down country roads and Adie, Joya and I all cried. Strike that.. we all sobbed. I'm pretty sure I was the loudest.

We get home, get the couches in their place and by God's Grace.. all the scratches from the incident are on the backside of our perfect couch. Scratched side is up against the wall. So here's the dramatic, traumatic, tear filled perfect couch...


And I realized that
I will NEVER think I am super good at submitting to my husband ever again.
And God taught me a good lesson about pride, too.
And material possessions.
And standing in the middle of the road trying to flag off a semi from hitting my perfect couch is usually not a good idea.
It's JUST a couch and praise the Lord the tumbling couch didn't smash into our windshield and kill us or one of the other vehicles that slammed on their brakes behind me.

Geez.
All that drama, a ton of tears and a few life lessons all for the perfect couch. =/
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7 comments:

mandiegirl said...

Congrats on your new sofa, and boy, I'm in the whole submission mission with you. ;)

Andrew and Denise said...

Thanks, I needed to hear that! Couch looks great! LAMY!

Anonymous said...

Darcy,
You have got to be the funniest writer! Glad the couch was a life lesson for so many that will read your piece! Enjoying your wit!!
Sue Ann Mitchell

Kat said...

its an amazing couch at least!
glad it made it to your house in one piece :)

Kat said...

its an amazing couch at least!
glad it made it to your house in one piece :)

Monica said...

Hi, Miss Darcy!
Would you please contact me about photography?
Thanks! -Monica

Amy and Scott said...

Darce - what a good lesson to share about pride and submission / partnership with your spouse. It makes me just sick when people think of being the "submissive wife" as weak. You and I both know it takes a LOT of strength to trust in your hubby to guide your family according to God's will. Thanks for sharing and way cute couch! :)